Stuart Bruce Tweets TOTAL Train Conversation

PR Guru and social media leader Stuart Bruce has provided us with another superb example of that wonderful combination of human behaviour that seems to dominate the modern rail travel experience...Executive Self-Importance fused with Social Media ignorance.


Stuart was able to Tweet alot of the conversation between two executives from the Total organisation an episode that also caught the attention of Hugh Muir of the Guardian.

Since I last posted on Inside Track I have overheard budget discussions, office politics, strategy discussions all manner of confidential chatter all conducted 'as if' the people doing it are soooooooooooo important that we are sooooooooooo privileged to listen to their verbosity and be impressed.

How come so many people operate under the fallacy of anonymity in public transport and social media domains?

Well my last claim to fame 'love' was sitting opposite a guy 'love' who just had to let us know he was looking after Sophie Dahl and that the training session just has to be cancelled 'love' because he had to sort 'Ga Ga' out when she lands for Glastonbury. Pray tell what was this 'A' lister wannabe doing on the Norwich - Liverpool charabang?

Train Sardine.Org Grabs Headlines

image credit - reliance-travel.co.uk










Fantastic! Train Sardine.Org have grabbed the headlines on the BBC today.

Commuter power is shown to be taking charge of the media arena as East Midlands Trains start to loose control of their brand identity.

Thanks to social media and social networking the true opinions of fare paying passengers can't be 'airbrushed' out of the picture, or dismissed as the opinions of a few outspoken passengers.

The continuous lamination of poor journey experience on a considerable number of commuters must be taking an emotional, physical and psychological toll and this is completely without compensation. I'm beginning to wonder if the 'works' that are being done between Chesterfield and Sheffield are actually EMT building an 'empathy bypass'. Treating commuters as fee paying hostages is disgraceful.

The early morning seat lottery and the 'reserved' but 'not reserved' fiasco that is acted out each day is simply deplorable. Why should travellers be on tenter hooks waiting for some altercation to ensue because a) reservations are not made clear and b) the policy that says no reservation ticket on the seat = no reservation is not explained in the same clear terms as cheap fares to London. Why do stressed passengers have to sort this nonsense out themselves?

3 cheers for Train Sardine.Org. Are you getting any badges made? I'll buy one if you sell them (proceeds to charity?) Now that would be something 200+ people walking out of Sheffield station wearing their badges with pride could hardly go un-noticed.

Perhaps we could have a competition for the 'PR rescue attempt of the month' as EMP try to regain control of their brand. Too late guys - we control your brand and having a Sardine for a Brand Personality must stink!


Hear Ye Hear Ye - The Platitude Now Standing on platform 3 is:

"We are continuously investing in improvements in our service"

"It's true on a minority of occaisions customers may have to stand for short periods during peak travel times"

"We are proud of our service achievements since winning the contract"

"Our shareholders are, of course, delighted with the profits we make"

please add any more...

How do I stop strangers talking to me on the train?

Tonight was a peach. Sitting on the commuter express and getting ready to tackle The Times Sudoko when the person opposite me opened up with..."I was shown how to do those by an old bloke the other week...what you need to do is..." and that was it! 50 mins of tips and tricks and which numbers were missing on my grid and which numbers should go where.

How come she didn't realise that I wanted to just crack the grid myself. I was then treated to her life story, her Dutch grandmother, her jockey son, where she lived and why she wouldn't go back.

And the 'piece de resistance'? ...."I'm dyslexic...well odd number dyslexic to be precise...you know 3,6,9"

Sudoko grid ripped up and looking for emergency handle...please help!

East Midlands Trains - Service Without A Smile

Another packed commuter train at rush today and East Midlands Trains predictably deliver their regular level of abysmal service.

This time the guard decides to publicly berate passengers who are packed in the aisles for 'getting in his way'

This is a clear manifestation of the 'product' orientated, bureaucratised technical mentality of this appalling company. What matters is the conductor 'getting his job done efficiently' rather than paying attention to good natured empathetic service of the customer.

How East Midlands Trains won the franchise for this line beggars belief? What possible criteria for selection permitted them to take charge. You can imagine the tendering process can't you...

EMT
"Yes, we'll ensure passenger discomfort, anxiety, and humiliation" Our People will be insulting and rude, our Places will be dirty and cramped, and there will no Possibilities for improvement"

Comissioning Agent
"How cheap are you?"

EMT
"Very"

Comissioning Agent
"You've got the job"

East Midlands Trains - Terrible Passenger Experience Yet Again

The only thing that is reliable about the East Midlands Trains service is the regular delivery of appalling passenger experience.

Yesterday saw at least 100 passengers standing from Langley Mill to Sheffield. Once again no ticket reservation slips, once again no clear notices on train entry that they do not apply, once again a bombastic passenger booting someone out of 'their' seat.

If the Managing Director of EMT was treated like this in a restaurant the Fat Cat wouldn't go back for the cream. Essentially EMT are analogous to kidnappers, taking hostage of hundreds of people every day and extorting money from them.

How much logistical intelligence does it take to measure the number of passengers in the rush hour, forecast likely demand and lay on an extra carriage? Clearly this is beyond the numerical capabilty of the senior management team of EMT. Perhaps the job is too hard for them and they should resign?

East Midlands Trains Re-Position Brand as East Midlands Pains

Does the Managing Director of East Midlands Pains have any idea about the level of service his customers experience on a daily basis.

My latest two journeys were classics that should have a chapter dedicated to them in every text book of Service Marketing. On the first journey I sat on a seat that I presumed was unreserved. This was confirmed by the conductress who explained to the carriage that due to the fact there were no reservation slips in the seat locator, the reservations did not apply, and surprisingly to me she went on to say "they are complimentary anyway".


Half an hour into my journey my reading was interrupted by a man demanding that I move because I was in his seat. (Why can't people ask if you have a reservation in a none threatening and bombastic way?)I explained that I believed that reservations didn't apply on the journey and that I would be happy to move if he clarified the situation with the conductress. Thankfully he did.

Now, this situation was neither his making or mine and yet both our experiences were not pleasant. He was frustrated because he expected a seat , I was upset because he interfered with my peace and put me in a confrontational situation.

The following day I made the same journey. Again no reservation enotices on the seats. This time I was 'on edge' because a fellow passenger came up and told another passenger to move because they had a reservation.

So, I asked the conductress (a different lady with deplorable interpersonal skills)if reservations applied because I had been led to believe that this was the case when reservation slips weren't placed yesterday. This conductress looked at me blankly and said "I don't know I wasn't there yesterday"

Staggered at the fact she had completely misunderstood my question I asked again if reservations applied when no slips were in the seats. She walked off saying it was 'unlikely to be a problem'

Why should I undertake a journey with such ambiguity and stress? Why should I be placed in confrontational situations with other passengers. Why don't East Midlands Trains clearly explain that when reservation slips are not on he seats the reservation doesn't apply? Why don't they tell passengers clearly up front that their reservations might not apply and in what circumstances.Why isn't this information made as clear as their emergency notices and their cheap fare adverts?

The Managing Director of East Midlands Trains needs to get his act together, develop his staff, reflect on his value proposition, and manage the promises his brand makes.

Instead of twee slogans about People Places and Possibilities he should pay more attention to the reality of his service - Piss Poor Performance

Public Transport and Private Grief

So how was your day set up today? Mine? well at 7.30 this morning I was invited to hear all about the circumstances surrounding a suicide. The subject and his family were known both 'clinically' and socially to the people 'sharing' this tragedy with their fellow travellers.

Quite frankly I didn't need to know, the dramatic hand wringing tale of previous failed attempts and then the discovery by a walker in the woods who bumped into the subjects father as he ran away in shock was not a great way to start the day.

What really got under my skin was the 'professionalising' of the conversation, so that we all just had to 'know' that the discussants had the experience and techniques to explain what had happened in ways they presumed those around them couldn't...Mistake...I knew for sure that two colleagues both highly qualified clinical psychologists were in the same carriage.

The thinly disguised arrogance and the lack of concern for other people on the journey was in my view deplorable. Did we really need to understand that the subjects previous failed attempts just reinforced his low self esteem? 'He couldn't even kill himself properly' we were told. Did we have to be exposed to anguish and retrospective sense-making of the subjects parents? 'its part of the natural grieving process' as if we didn't know, did we need to here what 'should have, ought to have been done if I'd been in charge' Nice one clever dick!

To think that we would never have had to listen to this 'morning in my office' if the subject had been sectioned after he had been found with his hanging feet through the bedroom ceiling after a bodged attempt following advice from a suicide web-site that recommended doing it in the attic to avoid early discovery and swallowing pills and gaffa taping your mouth so you didn't throw them back up as you dropped!

People join these professions for good reason and cause. Their work is demanding, harrowing and challenging. They are professionally trained. Their fellow commuters are not...cases like these should be kept to the office.

One End of The Line

This is a great link for all you commuterphiles out there London Underground Blog

How about doing Norwich too?

Sorry About That We've just Gone Through Some Turbulence

OK everyone get prepared for variants on the tried and tested mobile/cell phone cliches now that phones can be used on planes 'We've just gone through a tunnel is SO yesterday'

The good news is that apart from the standard 'cattle class' conversations about personal matters deemed to be so important and unique that everyone else has to listen, the quality of business information that is going to be shared will rise exponentially.

CEOS, Marketing Directors in business class will be delighting us with mega-deal information, political wranglings, and chats with 'the secretary'

I can't wait...

Atomic Watches!? someone needs an Atomic Bomb!

Any Marketing 101 student will tell you that you need to understand your customers critical choice factors. Now, as we know, if you are a train customer you obviously don't have a choice, so maybe that's the reason why the technocratic rail providers such as
East Midlands Trains are so excited about their new atomic gizzmos rather than putting enough carriages on their routes so that their PAYING customers can travel in comfort and safety.